The Purpose Of Relationships And Human Needs

Have you ever asked yourself what the real purpose of a relationship is? Any relationship?
It is so common in life we say we want things but forget what we want them for. What happens with most of us is that we don’t know what we’re after! And so we get disappointed when we don’t get what we don’t know we want!

So to get clear here, some people say the purpose of all relationships is to communicate, others say to learn, to share to know, to understand, to experience things. And all those answers are accurate but the real purpose of a relationship, that feeds out of all the things I just mentioned is one simple thing: The purpose of a relationship is to magnify the human experience.
Let’s think about it: how does it feel when you experience something on your own (it can be phenomenal) but why do you want to share it?
Because in the sharing there is magnification, you get to experience it again. When that other person gets excited, it gets you even more excited, or when he/she gets sad it gets you even more sad. When there’s this emotion that’s shared there’s this power and synergy something BIG occurs, things get magnified!

Relationships are about sharing, and the quality of your relationship is in direct relation to the amount of yourself that you are able to share with someone. In other words the person feels, hears, experiences the other. So if you’re in a relationship and you’re not able to share…guess what…you’re not in a relationship. When we’re relating together, and moving in a direction, like in a ship, we’re moving the ship together experiencing all the elements of the spirit together. The power is in the unity and relatedness.

So if you want the most out of your life, if you want an extraordinary life, the edge comes in extraordinary emotion, extraordinary psychology and that comes in your capacity to share with quality people at a deep level on an ongoing basis that expands the ability to enjoy your life.
The REAL SECRET to relationships is this: A relationship is a place you go to GIVE.
Not a place you go to get. When you measure how much you give and you get in return, you have a transaction, not a relationship. A relationship is about unlimited sharing, unlimited giving and when you share at that level you magnify all that’s good. When we make a conscious decision that our relationships are relly about magnifying the good in the person we love and it’s a place we’re going to give then we’re going to receive ten fold, it’s the rule of life.

This doesn’t happen because we get hooked by the things that happened in our past, and we get trapped by them. You see, everybody has the same needs no matter who or where: for certainty, variety, uncertainty (surprise), challenge, to feel significant, important, unique, special, to feel like we’re needed everybody has those needs. Every one of those needs must be met by all human beings, but we don’t all pursue these needs the same way. Some people want to be significant by achieving so their focus is fully drawn onto their job. So connection becomes a secondary thing they eventually get to, but these people end up unhappy at a later stage. Some think everything is about relationships and that one single love relationship which when it gets into trouble they feel they have no life anymore.

Just know that relationships are about meeting each other’s needs. If you can help your partner feel certain that by being in a relationship with you they are going to feel comfort, joy, love; if you can help them experience more variety, cool surprises, learning, growing, challenge and stimulation; if you can help your partner feel totally special, unique and you mean it, when you value them and you see the unique qualities they have then you will be in a relationship that is LEGENDARY.

I wish you the absolute best!
May the joy be with you.


ritakml said...


Mich said...

Great post. Spot on!!! :-)

Naeema said...

And that's what i call consummate :) great piece dear :)

Emilie said...

As always, it's a great post. I like it and I like the mind behind.
We're all after fulfillment I guess.

Anonymous said...

DEAD ON DUDE! What a post! Great, as usual!! You never fail to amaze me in your logic!

Stephanie Nour said...

Beautiful post, nailed it. I'm glad I came across this.